1. Opinions are like buttholes. Everyone has one, and they stink.
This is the internet, a universal tool that is, sadly, not used for its true purpose, but instead used for getting into arguments with strangers, and looking up songs about the sound a fox makes. You're going to run across people who you're going to really despise, hidden behind usernames like OneDirectionXoXo, or TwilightLover2009.
As an internet user, it is sort of required that you put up with idiotic morons online, to an extent. Remember, everyone has an opinion, and while you may not agree with their opinion, you should be respectful of it. Remember that not everyone is going to agree that Lord of the Rings is the best trilogy ever produced, or that Black Veil Brides is the most awful band ever formed.
You have the right to express your opinion, but you don't need to shut down other people because they have a different perspective on things. There is a fine line between expressing your opinion and trying to defend someone, or being a cyber bully. So remember, don't be a troll. I guarantee you'll feel a lot better if you don't decide to start a fire with half a million people on Facebook. If you choose to start a fire, be prepared to take the burn. With certain power comes certain responsibility.
2. It's 3 extra letters, for god's sake. SPELL CORRECTLY.
I can't even count how many times a day I am scrolling through my social media sites, and I literally cringe at the increasing lack of proper spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Look, it is not cute that you are 24 years old and have a "major" in English, but U STIL tYp3 1iK3 tH1s. Or if you type something like "OMG! 1 D!rect!on jUsT aNnOuNc3d th@t they r going to b coming 2 Dallas!" It makes you look as though you lack intelligence. This is America, we speak English here, not bingo. I cannot think of any possible reason you could have for not spelling words correctly. Unless you're 4 years old and still rocking out to the Wiggles, you have no legit excuse as to why you cannot at least make an attempt at spelling. I admit wholeheartedly that I am a grammar Nazi, and I will not speak to you if you type "you" as "yu", or "before" as "b4." Either spell correctly, or I am going to throw a dictionary at your face. This is why aliens won't talk to us.
3. Stop. Typing. Like. This. OR LIKE THIS.
Dear 12 year old fangirls,
I am terribly sorry that I have offended you with my off-hand comment on how big of a jerk Justin Bieber has become. Sometimes I don't follow my own rules. But I regret to inform you that when you angrily type. Like. This. All I can do is laugh. First off, that makes it look like your keyboard has asthma, instead of anger; Or my favorite is when you TYPE LIKE THIS. Oh my goodness, you're going all CAPS on me, and I'm certainly terrified. Please, just stop. You look dumb, and you're not really getting your point across.
4. Please, please just be yourself online.
You are surrounded by complete strangers, so why be anyone other than yourself? You're not here to impress people, you're here to be frivolous online. For starters, your Facebook profile. You're 12, so I'm pretty sure you are not the owner of iTunes, and I'm also fairly certain that you do not work at "my mom." You're 12, sit down and go watch Power Rangers and Yu-Gi-Oh! Also, stop photoshopping your photos. You're beautiful just the way you are, and if you ever go missing, how am I supposed to find you when you look like Taylor Swift online, and Mick Jagger in real life? Stop lying, stop trying to act cool. Just be yourself.
5. "Please, tell me more about all the drama you post on Facebook." -No one, ever.
I realize that Facebook asks you "What's on your mind?" and it's fine to rant; I do it everyday. However, there is a fine line between telling everyone what's on your mind, and just being annoying. There are certain things that should remain private online such as your age, address, credit card number, and certain things that are happening in your life. Like the whole 12 year olds being in a "complicated relationship." What did he do, steal your animal crackers? I don't really care that your "babe" just made you a gourmet meal, you're going to lounge around in your bathrobe all weekend, or your babe "caught you sleeping."
As an internet user, it is sort of required that you put up with idiotic morons online, to an extent. Remember, everyone has an opinion, and while you may not agree with their opinion, you should be respectful of it. Remember that not everyone is going to agree that Lord of the Rings is the best trilogy ever produced, or that Black Veil Brides is the most awful band ever formed.
You have the right to express your opinion, but you don't need to shut down other people because they have a different perspective on things. There is a fine line between expressing your opinion and trying to defend someone, or being a cyber bully. So remember, don't be a troll. I guarantee you'll feel a lot better if you don't decide to start a fire with half a million people on Facebook. If you choose to start a fire, be prepared to take the burn. With certain power comes certain responsibility.
2. It's 3 extra letters, for god's sake. SPELL CORRECTLY.
I can't even count how many times a day I am scrolling through my social media sites, and I literally cringe at the increasing lack of proper spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Look, it is not cute that you are 24 years old and have a "major" in English, but U STIL tYp3 1iK3 tH1s. Or if you type something like "OMG! 1 D!rect!on jUsT aNnOuNc3d th@t they r going to b coming 2 Dallas!" It makes you look as though you lack intelligence. This is America, we speak English here, not bingo. I cannot think of any possible reason you could have for not spelling words correctly. Unless you're 4 years old and still rocking out to the Wiggles, you have no legit excuse as to why you cannot at least make an attempt at spelling. I admit wholeheartedly that I am a grammar Nazi, and I will not speak to you if you type "you" as "yu", or "before" as "b4." Either spell correctly, or I am going to throw a dictionary at your face. This is why aliens won't talk to us.
3. Stop. Typing. Like. This. OR LIKE THIS.
Dear 12 year old fangirls,
I am terribly sorry that I have offended you with my off-hand comment on how big of a jerk Justin Bieber has become. Sometimes I don't follow my own rules. But I regret to inform you that when you angrily type. Like. This. All I can do is laugh. First off, that makes it look like your keyboard has asthma, instead of anger; Or my favorite is when you TYPE LIKE THIS. Oh my goodness, you're going all CAPS on me, and I'm certainly terrified. Please, just stop. You look dumb, and you're not really getting your point across.
4. Please, please just be yourself online.
You are surrounded by complete strangers, so why be anyone other than yourself? You're not here to impress people, you're here to be frivolous online. For starters, your Facebook profile. You're 12, so I'm pretty sure you are not the owner of iTunes, and I'm also fairly certain that you do not work at "my mom." You're 12, sit down and go watch Power Rangers and Yu-Gi-Oh! Also, stop photoshopping your photos. You're beautiful just the way you are, and if you ever go missing, how am I supposed to find you when you look like Taylor Swift online, and Mick Jagger in real life? Stop lying, stop trying to act cool. Just be yourself.
5. "Please, tell me more about all the drama you post on Facebook." -No one, ever.
I realize that Facebook asks you "What's on your mind?" and it's fine to rant; I do it everyday. However, there is a fine line between telling everyone what's on your mind, and just being annoying. There are certain things that should remain private online such as your age, address, credit card number, and certain things that are happening in your life. Like the whole 12 year olds being in a "complicated relationship." What did he do, steal your animal crackers? I don't really care that your "babe" just made you a gourmet meal, you're going to lounge around in your bathrobe all weekend, or your babe "caught you sleeping."
FAIL! Ah, anyways, there are some things that other people really don't need to know about. It's great that you went to the doctor's office, and everything.... But, I didn't really need to know that you have gonorrhea. Please, keep the stupid drama off of Facebook, or any other social media site for that matter, and stop posting too much information.
Please, just follow these rules. I an done with stupid people online. If you need me, I'm going to be in my cushion fort, eating ice cream, and watching Sesame Street.
Brilliant. Condescending. Brilliant.
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